September gathering! Meeting old friends and.....a new comer! LOL.

Weee~~~~having a great timte today! finally get to meet my old friends! and made a new friend! thanks Elaine! XD also many thanks to Colin for providing us transport if not this all would not have happened! and also thanks to those who come for the gathering! its a pleasure to meet you all!

This gathering was meant to meet up with the Twins and Jared before they go KL to study. pretty much went well but the plan was altered in the last minute LOL. the initial place was suppose to be in damai to yamcha, but in the end it was changed to be at centrepoint. XD

while we go fetch ELaine, she bring her friend along >>> Alsyna! Alsyna was from melaka and she was a quiet interesting person i would say! she blends in with us so easily! no wonder she could study psychology..lol...XD it was nice to meet her! she was very kind and friendly to us! we all went to 1Borneo to have lunch and to get the things in her shopping list. a BlackBerry 9780/9700 external cover....i remeber i pronounce it as blueberry lol. searched the whole place but cant seem to find a perfect one for her...along the way we went to Brands Outlet!!! Yes it was my favourite clothing retail shop ever since i meet it at PJ...haha...Alsyna seems to like the retail too! the cloths there are cheap and fashionable and good! so happy they opened 2 branch at KK! 1 at 1Borneo, 1 at Suria Sabah! must go people! XD

Then we go to warisan square and centerpoint to continue to search for the cover LOL. along with us are Colin, Jared and Yit Kah Hung! its always nice to have guys around! XD turns out there isnt one that fits her BB nicely. and her shopping mission failed. lol. nvm, next time can go buy again. haha.

while meeting up with the Twins we walked around. i spended everyone yoyo refreshments except for the twins group because they werent with us before that. lol. didnt expect them to meet up so fast. well, hav to spend them also when at KL study. lol.

after we meet up we go for the arcades! it was realy fun! we played dance dance revolution and we look like idiots dancing. hahaha..my dance move was funny lol! manage to find the shooting game i have been missing!!! played with colin and my record was better! haha..but we didnt manage to broke our previous record which was 3rd!!! i manage to get 19th this time. Alsyna also joined as she doesnt want to miss the fun! XD we shot and danced~ but jared wasnt joining. i wonder why. he was busy carrying bags i guess. ==

after that, the gathering was officially ended when twins gone home! good day today! =)

Starting a new leaf! >:D

Woots~~~ time passes as im lazing around not upadting my blog. =,= whatever. many things happened and now im on my holiday at my hoemtown sabah! yay! I <3 SABAH!

Being trying to change/improve myself since the last personal growth set back. well, its going well for now and i'll face the challenges in the future with wisdom and courage! >:D Starting a new leaf!

changing my image is the first step! shopping for cloths was kinda fun! must learn from frens who are pro in this. LOL. so far so good! im not the guy labeled as gloomy anymore! XD feeling good yo~~~

next was i read books! i do read books but hardly. haha...manage to finish 2 books currently! one of the books i finished it in 2hours on a plane! awesome! i love books that are motivating and self improvement! i really recommend these 2 books:

1)The Psychology of Winning by Dr. Denis Whitley
2)Question is the Answer by Paul Allen

the 3rd book im raedig now is Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki which is also a good read to understand what the rich and poor teach their kids about money. its a great insight of how money works in our world! very recommended read indeed!

Lets hope all goes well! oh ya....im lacking some time for anime and manga. ==
guest the next thing is time management!!!!

intercommunication skills are important too. hmm...gotta juggle what i need to change for the better! multi tasking!!!

FAILLLLLLL!!!!!!

I was following up one friend of mine about the amway business...but he never wanted to go for meeting or understand further...but today..a damn shocking news happened...he joined amway!!! the bad news is...he joined my senior!!! what the smurf?! i guess my skills in amway are lousy...so sad...prospect got taken away twice in a month..this must be world record...heh...

Cried for a while while singing songs like "ash like snow" from gundam 00, "kurumi" from Mr.Children and other gundam 00 songs...what a good way to relieve and express my feelings...

Guess i'll go do my thesis design statement now...

Reflection on myself

yesterday was my assignment submission...been rushing it for days...days of sleepless nights...very exhausted indeed...however, i'm unable to finish my sectional model..therefor i was marked as late submission which results in several percentage of deduction in marks. looking at my friends awesome models and presentation boards...i felt pretty useless...a failure...i was really disappointed with myself. orz

I went back with home with a depressed feeling...went to bed right away after i cleaned the mess in the living room...was really exhausted...

woke up around 2am dawn...felt hungry so i went to mamak to grab some food...while having my meal..i thought about what i've done all this while...i feel very noob...cant get things right...

i went back home after taking my meal and have a chat with my friend Jun Rong...he was sitting there in the living room doing his Flash assignment...i told him about my problems and feelings along with some amway stuff...he has been really helpful for listening and giving opinions for me...he kinda remind me of things i forgot or left out...

he told me that i was running away from my problems(procrastinate)...then when i come back for the problem, nothing was solve and i got frustrated and things got messed up...i eventually end up become depressed because of that he said.

that kinda made me aware of my situation better since i've been stuck in the cloud of haze unable to help myself out...

so i'm thinking of what weaknesses i have and what should i do to do better and change...i need to be constantly aware...and be positive..to motivate myself...

世界が平和でありますように。。。。may peace prevail in the world...

I PUASA-ED. LuLzzz.

was busy rushing project management and tender documentation the whole day...didnt get any sleep....only around 45minits of nap....rush to print...printer rosak...go college print...go centerpoint binding...saw a lot of people queuing for binding...apparently they are rushing too...so i have to wait...and i was late for submission..=w=....when i submit luckily ms.siti is very considerate and didnt mark me as late....\(^o^)/...after that went to mamak stall to BUKA PUASA as we havent eat the whole day! sama-sama buka puasa with the malay people...it was a special experience...the foods are delicious too! i ate 2 meals in 1 go...haha...too hungry!!! after dinner then went home and slept until 1.00am wake up...=,=...and wrote this post! might watch some anime to relax awhile...chiau~~

Things got worst. what a day.

Im in amway business currently...part time...maybe not even a part time..freelancing would be more appropriate. i'm about to sign up a prospect tonight and all the sudden my prospect said she dont want to join the membership bcz she is gonna buy the products from my friend which happens to be my direct frontline...SCREW THIS! i bought the bag for rm85 to sign up but my frontline took my prospect?! "great"! that is just "great"! damn it! who am i gonna blame? myself i guess....sucks to be me...there goes the law of attraction. the day just got worst....more worst....screw this....

Namida.....sabishii.....kanashimi......Orz

its been a long time i've felt like this again...its pretty sad to put inside the heart...so i might as well spill it all out here...my crappy sad stuffs! no one would notice probably...if anyone does im doomed. LOL. hah...trying to cheer up...so not. Orz

pretty stress lately...i suck at managing time and i got lousy skills in assignments...well im damn busy and stress that i dont feel like doing it anymore...might as well fail? not an option! so just stick with the stress....=,=

that aside, today i bought some foods home for snacks...then i saw my classmate "not fren i guess?" sitting in the living room engrossed on her laptop. trying to communicate with her, i said in a friendly manner: hey HXX MXXX! (for the privacy of her) wanna eat some foods? =) *yup. with a smile.*

then all hell turn loose! 2 friends were with me too that time...and they said about the same thing as me but with more CHARM and BETTER SMILES...i was totally ignored....=,=....she just gives response to them...smiling back, chatting with them~~~

this is not the first time...i realize i wasnt popular at all..well that doesnt matter but being left out does matter to me...i feel....unimportant...not needed...im just a keh leh feh....ever since high school...sucks to be me...i suck badly at socializing with girls seriously...even guys too....its not that i want to get a girlfriend or something like that...i just want a variety of friends...i want something different...not just dota and games but barbie dolls *joking*...

ugh...felt depressed as thr were stress from assignments too...my mind SNAPPED...i went straight to my room at locked myself away from the outside world! and shouted: Kuso! Kuso! doushite ore wa?! doushite?!!!! teme!!!! bakayarou!! ore wa baka da!!! OBAKA DESU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *phew*....more facepalms coming...i call it the double facepalm!!!




This is my typical kyon facepalm




This is when one is not enough!


shouting and shouting until im out of breath....i turned on the speaker volume and started to play some of my all time favourite sentimental songs from the anime Angel Beats! wherever, whenever, whatever, i can listen to this song with full of emotions and feelings....this song is nonetheless, ICHIBAN NO TAKARAMONO....both Karuta and Yui version is awesome!!!not to forget MY SONG by marina....tears start to flow when the music plays~~and i just immense myself in the depth of the song....all the tones, the rhythm, the lyrics....truely touched my heart...its the only way to express my feelings of sadness, frustrations, stress, disappointments....but also....hope....

its a tradition to me...when i get depressed, i would cry and shout and sing and eat as much as i want...then i would have a surge of momentum to do better, to live better, to work harder, to realize that there is more in life....but sometimes i use to do things alone....maybe i can focus more? or im just avoiding? hmmm...only my heart knows?

then i felt like writing my feelings in my old lousy blog...to document my life history i guess? no one understands me....haiz....neither do i i guess...but i definitely know more....probably im jz selfish? im jealous? tons of thoughts rained my mind....one question comes in mind: why im not as good as them?

yeah...we are all born differently...its a fact....but...but...i wont accept this!!! thinking back, some even called me "kiasu zai"..thats pretty harsh i think because it sounds like a bad connotation...i definitely dont like losing but its nothing wrong to not like to lose!!! i want to win because its success, its happiness, its progress...it means alot to me...so whats wrong if im doing my best to win? im not using shortcuts or dirty tricks! im competiting with everyone FAIR AND SQUARE!

turns out the more i write the more i get confused with myself...=,=....oh well, life have its up and downs...but i want to live a great life....full with happiness and friends that are REAL....and more attention from friends....i feel invisible most the time...=,=....



one of the best episode ever....confirm cry!!!!

lets see how my life goes....in the future....when i read this again..its gonna feel like 手紙 ～拝啓 十五の君へ～ LOL...